Why moms are so stressed out is not a new question. Mothers throughout the ages have experienced mom stress and anxiety in an effort to “get it right.” And since many men or partners share parental duties, we often see a stressed mom and dad on the scene. No matter what’s in the mix, being a parent is more than a full-time job. Stress can be insidious whether you are a stay-at-home Mom, career mom, single mom, “Mr. Mom, " co-parent, dog or cat mom, or caring for an aging parent.

Mom Stress Causes
Even before their baby is born, mom stress may begin in women who experience maternal stress. What is maternal stress? It is stress that a mother-to-be can experience while pregnant tied to physical issues like constipation, morning sickness, back pain, and moodiness due to hormonal fluctuations. Next, once your bundle of joy arrives, a whole new slew of stressors may affect you. Want-to-be-moms trying to get pregnant and those pursuing adoption also feel stress due to the pressures of not being “on schedule” and the hurdles they must overcome.
While stress affects everyone, a study by the American Psychological Association showed that women are more likely to report physical and emotional symptoms of stress than men. It triggers increased cortisol production, causing skin issues like acne breakouts, rosacea flare-ups, premature aging, and serious health problems such as cardiovascular, neurological, or digestive problems.

What Stresses Moms Out The Most?
Regardless of where you fall in terms of parenthood status, the nature of this immense responsibility has most parents on edge. While you wouldn’t change the phenomenal rewards of seeing your child grow and thrive for the world, multiple stressors can come into play when caring for your “littles.” Everyone can appreciate why moms of three are so stressed, but it seems less obvious why a stay-at-home mom with one child and a nanny is stressed. Therein the comparison game begins, which we must squash to help moms navigate this important role in all circumstances. There is no award for being the busiest. So, what if other mommies constantly post about volunteer commitments, parties, and packed schedules? When we stop comparing, we begin eradicating discontent. No judgement, please – Every Mom is a Supermom, after all! Parent stress and child development concerns usually top the list. Whatever type of “mom” you are, if you have one child or more, if you work, are a full-time mom, have childcare help, or none, the worries are still the same.

Common Stressors All Moms Encounter:
Education & Development: Since childhood education and development are essential for success in adulthood, it is natural that you are concerned about your child’s progress. Worries that your child has learning disabilities, struggles with mental health issues, or will grow up to have other challenges common today may make you doubt your rearing skills. Budgeting time to help with schoolwork and encouraging participation in sports and social activities has you on the verge of becoming a helicopter mom. Your determination to fit in reading and talking to your child, doing crafts, and playing to ensure the development of their fine motor skills, speech, emotional and educational needs keeps you beyond busy.

Health: Keeping your kids physically healthy is no easy task. With daycare or school presenting a different cold, flu, or bug every week, it is tempting to want to keep them home forever! Add worries about providing them with healthy foods and clean products may leave you longing for the days of bathing with random soaps and shampoos or packing bologna, yellow cheese, and white bread sandwiches like you (or your mom) grew up on. Since keeping them at home indefinitely is not a solution, and your insanely busy schedule doesn’t always allow time for home-cooked meals, no one will blame you when those golden arches lure you to ignore healthy diet plans. A few drive-thru meals don’t make you a bad mom! Ironically, seeing your child struggle with skin issues like acne, eczema, and hives is another stress moms endure, which can trigger their own skin flare-ups.

Socialization: You worry if your kids are comfortable in social settings, will make friends, and fear the rampant bullying on social media and in school. Keeping up with the Joneses, worrying about how you look at drop-off and pick-up, outfitting your child (including lunchboxes and backpacks), and coming up with cute costume ideas for various events so they won’t feel embarrassed, can make you want to pull your hair out! Having to find teacher gifts that show you care and making and bringing fun treats for holiday class parties leaves your head spinning.

Logistics: Planning schedules to ferry kids to and from class and activities (sports, music lessons, or dance class) and back home for homework, meals, free time, and bedtime teaches them work-life balance at a young age. Using a family calendar and allowing generous cushions between activities will balance time between work, household chores, kids’ needs, and recreation, free of hassle and guilt. How many activities they do (or don’t do) needs to be a family decision as the time, financial, and emotional commitment involves everyone. And if something isn’t working out, you can re-evaluate. Doing the above without breaking the bank and sticking to a plan for their financial future can cross your eyes. The bright side? You’ll be able to add taxi driver, stylist, costume designer, baker, and financial planner to your resume!

How to Handle Mom Stress
How to reduce stress as a mom is easier said than done. While everything seems like too much, you can handle it by practicing an easy-does-it approach to motherhood with these mom stress tips:

• End mom guilt and stop comparing yourself to others. Do your best and accept that you will forget things because perfect moms don’t exist.
• Avoid “if only” thinking like if "I was married,” “got to stay at home with my kids,” “my partner helped more,” or “we could afford a nanny,” as idealizing other’s scenarios is counterproductive and doesn’t get the laundry done.
• Stop the endless social media scrolling while waiting to pick up your kids and try a mom's coloring book for stress relief instead.
• Break down tasks into realistic goals and delegate them when possible!
• Don’t be afraid to say no to your kids. Consistent discipline will help you stick to a routine (with firm, nonnegotiable bedtimes!), manage their expectations, and keep your sanity!
• You don’t have to fix everything at once. When your child is upset, giving them time to express themselves is more important than baking that cake you promised to make. You can parent yourself, too, when you feel stressed by trying to pinpoint the feeling behind it.
• Your kids will notice if you perfunctorily go through the motions, get “sharp” edges and lose the patience for niceties due to full-blown overwhelm.
• Saying no helps make “space,” allowing time for relaxed greetings and conversations in between, teaching them that life isn’t about rushing to fit things in and check off duties, but about manners and respect.
• To fit in some “me” time, take advantage of carpools and play dates, and accept help whenever possible.

There are nuances to mom stress depending on your circumstances; the parent stress management techniques that work for you may not work for someone else. Here’s how:

• Working mom stress management: Those who work full-time often find it challenging to create a healthy balance between work and family life, but how to relieve stress for working moms depends on where they work. Moms who work outside the home during the day will benefit from spending quality downtime with the kids in the evening.

If you work from home, ignore those who think that working from home means you have more time or freedom. Schedule meetings during nap time to prevent disruptions like your baby crying or your toddler getting into your papers.

• Stay at home mom stress relief: For cooped-up domestic engineers and mom taxis, getting out of the house and socializing with friends once a week can do wonders for buffering stress levels.
• Single mom stress relief: Single moms endure the stress of managing responsibilities solo. It is vital to ask for help wherever you can! Find another single mom to share the burdens of everyday life, like cooking, cleaning, laundry, babysitting, and, okay, some venting to someone who understands more than most.
• New mom stress relief: Like a new job, motherhood involves a learning curve. You will make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean you are a mistake of a mom. Meet with other moms to exchange feelings and tips, and trust that you will get the hang of it!

Ditch Mom Guilt
Guilt for not being present, losing patience, or not practicing “gentle parenting” as mirrored in your child’s crestfallen eyes are common emotions all moms feel. Wishing the days would go by faster, even though everyone tells you to “enjoy these moments” or that you will “miss these days,” doesn’t seem to soften your reactions in the moment. Don’t even get us started on how we feel when taking time for ourselves. If doing so guilt-free is as fantastical as a unicorn – you are not alone. Feeling isolated, lost, anxious, exhausted, like a failure, or unfulfilled?  Here are some mom stress quotes to prove that those mother’s you compare yourself to are going through the same thing: “Before becoming a mom, I had a pretty straightforward lifestyle. While I was busy, things weren’t as complicated as they are today…I’m constantly on the go.

Combining late work nights with homework assignments for the children and a 50-hour workweek seems almost impossible. What I’ve learned… is that a “little personal time” goes a long way for my mental well-being as a wife and a mother of two,” B.J. “Is it me, or is everyone an Instagram mom now? Not only do you have to give gifts and bring in snacks all the time, but they need to look like they came out of a magazine! I am exhausted.” A.C. “Being a Mom is a hard job. We doubt ourselves at every turn and hope that our kids know that we love them and aren’t messing them up every time we do something “wrong.”  But, at the end of the day, we need to remind ourselves that our kids just need us to love them and be there for them.” D.S.

Maintain your relationships and community. Moms who are married or have life partners must make a point to nurture relationships amidst parenting duties. If you have difficulty prioritizing friendships, put “call Susie” on your calendar (and follow through) or use your earbuds to call your friends while doing chores to stay connected.

Stress Causes & Solutions
Often moms get stressed because they mistakenly believe they must do it all. Remember, when asked to do something, you have a choice to say yes or no. Guard your calendar, as family time is precious. Before saying “yes,” ask yourself if you have the mental and emotional capacity to take on one more task. If you do, go for it. Being of service can fill your wellness cup, but saying yes too often may stretch you beyond your limits. If you say yes because of expectations, you may become impatient, easily angered, and tired. Consciously choosing to say no and penciling in relaxation, naps, and fun in advance will help you stick to your guns. Still have a hard time saying no? Practice doing so without explaining or justifying and know that saying no does not make you a bad parent or that saying yes doesn’t make you a better one. Assess your responsibilities. Clarify your goals and rank your priorities. Not everything can be number one, and taking a step back is okay. If people judge you for your choices, that is about them. Remember, you are not the only "do-it-all figure” in the home if you have a partner. Outsource what you can, set boundaries, and make one meal for the family - we promise they will eat if they get hungry!

Spa & Self-Care Solutions
Our recommendation for how to deal with stress as a mom? Prioritize self-care when possible. Making a date with yourself to embrace personal care and hitting the spa (maybe with a girlfriend) – now that’s how to make a stressed mom happy! The International Spa Association (ISPA) reports that a quarter of all American adults have visited a spa at least once, with stress reduction being the common reason for visits.Spa-going moms look forward to relaxing and refreshing monthly spa services because they need some much-deserved personal time.

Estheticians and massage therapists (often moms themselves) understand that stress relief is very important to their parent clients and do their utmost to manage their guests’ tension-related concerns with relaxing skin and body care services. Massage soothes sore joints and muscles, improves sleep, and reduces stress levels, translating into better physical and mental health. Facial treatments improve many skin problems and self-esteem, which leads to more successful professional and personal lives. Products and treatments that include aromatherapy use the body’s sense of smell to boost moods, relieve stress, restore balance, and encourage better health overall. The perfect Mother’s Day stress relief gift? Pevonia’s De-stress Escape Aromatic Oil with calming Lavender, Rose, and Grapefruit essential oils will show moms they are appreciated. They can use it wherever they go anytime their stress levels rise. Or give them the Micro-Emulsified Massage Oil Anti-Stress with uplifting Orange Essential Oil for a self-care massage.

Visit Find A Spa for an oasis near you offering Pevonia and get an Aromatherapy Facial or Aromatherapy Massage with our Serenity, Vitality, and Recovery Massage Oils, Micro-Emulsified Anti-Stress Massage Oil, or the Clarity formula, safe for expecting moms.